Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

This is one HOT little post!

Sooo...  What exactly are you expecting???

Dirty minded people...

It's HOT here...  88F with a humidity that would make any jungle animal quite comfortable.

Anyway...  My mind turned to this blog again.  You know, I really SHOULD post more here.  I mean, with my newfound projects and all.

Projects, you ask?  Yes, I have a few new ones...

  1. Learn C.  I mean, more than the typical advanced, scrolling, multicolored "Hello World" sort of level.  I mean, really learn it.  I really thought long and hard about whether I wanted to learn X86 Assembly or C.  My brain is still on the fence just a bit, but when I sat down, wrote a "Hello World" program in each, the C version compiled and ran the first time.  My Assembly version required some research to understand some of the assembler switches on NASM.  Sure, I got my assembly program to, er...  assemble but was a pain.
  2. I found my favorite college textbook, "An Introduction to Data Structures With Applications" by Tremblay and Sorenson.  There may be better text books out there that cover this subject, but this is the one I have...  And from my days at WIU, it is my favorite.  What am I going to do?  Well, when I used this book, all of our projects were written in USCD Pascal.  What I would like to do is use several languages to write all the projects in the book.  I am thinking of using C, Free Pascal, Modula III and Lua.  Maybe a few others like Assembler, C++, Python, Java or Rust.  Not certain, but it sounds interesting.
  3. Maybe...  maybe find an open source project to contribute my time.  
  4. Sailing...  boating... sailing...  OMG, I am a sailor!  Yes, my significant other gave me sailing lessons for my birthday.  Finished class about a week ago and bought a little sailboat built in the early 1970s by a company in Missouri called Advance.  She is 16 feet long, and also known as the "Sweet 16".  Great little boat, but is just for me.  Our 18 foot cruiser is currently in the shop for repairs and HOPEFULLY will be home before there is ice on the lake.
  5. Project StarStare, my little project to automatically detect meteor streaks in night sky photos is on a temporary hiatus but my be revived this winter.
  6. RuralRuins will see some new photos, I promise.
Anyway...  Probably a few things to blog about here.

And...  There is plenty to bitch, moan and complain about...  So...  Be back soon. 

Friday, February 10, 2017

Anyone Else Tired???

So, this is my "on-call week" for week.  That means I need to be available constantly from 8AM Monday through 8AM on the next Monday to fix things at work.  Usually not much breaks; us programmers don't like to piss-off the other programmers when they are on-call by writing shit code.  And...  none of us want to get 'the call' from any of our bosses.  Seriously, we are all professional and most of us have worked where I am employed for the last fifteen years.  Personally, I am at nineteen years later this year.

Anyway, being on-call occasionally requires waking up at any hour of the night to fix something that is broken.  Two nights ago something little broke at about 5AM.  It was a simple repair but I couldn't go back to sleep.  Last night I had trouble falling asleep and this morning had to wake up at 4AM to assist with a software roll-out.

I'm tired.

Over the years I have created a list of activities that are verboten on days such as these.  This list includes: buying things online; bidding on items in online auctions; signing anything important; investing; handling power tools; motorcycle riding (or bicycle riding for that matter); boating; building bon-fires and working on the household electrical system.

This morning I added another item to my list of verboten activities...  updating computer operating systems.

I foolishly thought updating my Debian Linux machine would be a no-brainer...  Log on as root and apt-get update and then apt-get upgrade.  Several packages did indeed update.  Even saw a few comments about a kernel upgrade.  No biggie.  I just sat back, focusing on my coffee and the software rollout, allowing the upgrade to continue.

Coffee break.  I check the upgrade and YEA, it is complete.  I then start  my backup script; just a mount and then a call to unison.   BBBZZZTTTTTT!!!!!!!  I see an error...

mount error: cifs filesystem not supported by the system

You see...  I have a Verbatim NAS I use as a hot backup for all my PCs.  My Linux backup script simply uses mount to connect to the NAS and unison to perform the backup.  After the update/install it was just not going to work!  I scrambled...  My Windows machines could connect to the NAS.  My other Linux computers could connect as well.  I was pissed.  I searched and poked and tried different things for hours.

Then...  after several coffee's and a few ef-bombs, something occurred to me...  I hadn't rebooted the machine.  Shit!  I rebooted and SHAZAM, all is good in my Debian Linux world.  Nap time... that's allowed.

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Simple Is Still Simple

Yes, contrary to the conventional state of technology and computer programming, simple is still simple.  Well, at least it should be.

Quite frequently I read different articles about programming in an attempt to maintain professional relevance.   Some are well written articles on good programming techniques.  Some are poorly written but the core material is still good.  Some are well written pieces about some fluff fad and then there are occasionally the poorly written article about some programming technique or library or concept  that has 'bad idea' written all over it.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Yes... I did that... Don't remember it, but did it...

I am a programmer (or is that obvious?).  Once in a while I will be tasked with researching or changing a program that I originally wrote.  I get the most recent code from our Source Repository System and start reviewing the code.  There is no doubt the program came from my brain, but it is certainly not familiar.  Why did I put these functions into a DLL?  What was I thinking when I designed this junk table?  OMG, WHY did I use singe letter variables???  WHY?!?!?!?!?

Maybe this happens with people in other professions...  read this to mean I hope sincerely that any doctor, dentist, commercial pilot or member of law enforcement who feel a similar temporary disorientation should firmly consider taking the day off!

Does a mechanic one day, look at a half-rebuilt carburetor that they have been working on for a month and wonder what motorcycle it came from?  Does a blackjack dealer in Vegas pause and wonder what those cards with an "A" printed on them mean?  Does a baseball umpire call "STRIKE!" before the pitcher throws the balll?

Anyway...  Walter Bishop from Fringe may never have said this, but maybe he could have...

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Just a Little Old

So, using a five year old PC is 'sad,' eh?  According to Apple's Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing, Phil Schiller, about 600 million people are using PCs that are over five years old... "This is really sad."

Sad, eh?  A computer is a tool.  If that tool suits the user's need, why change?  Ya, I am a high-tech, hip, cool, well-informed geek of fifty years old but have been using the least expensive cell phones on the least expensive plans I could find; that is, until two years ago.  That was when we moved out to our little rural house on the lake, with barely any cell signal.  That was also when my personal interests turned to landscape and documentary photography.  My main camera, a Canon EOS Rebel T3i doesn't support geo-tagging, so I specifically bought a phone that had good RF power, supported geo-tagging photos and was on a carrier with proven coverage in our rural little hideaway.

And...  after 35 years of using computer screens, my eyes tend to strain with small screens, so I opted to get a 'new & improved' Android cell phone with larger screen.  And, I am happy I did.

In my garage there exists a hammer; a tool.  It is likely 20 years old.  It fits my key requirements: hammer a nail while allowing my hands to grip it properly and not cause undue strain on my wrists.  Why would I want to purchase a new tool if this one works?

My philosophy of PC upgrades is the same...  If the PC fits the requirement, why upgrade?  Only this year did my little HP Mini-110 stop working.  I didn't upgrade because it suited a certain purpose: small size, fully functional for web browsing, would run a word processor and was incredibly easy to throw in my motorcycle's saddle bag or car's trunk when going somewhere.  It was six years old this year.

We have a six year old desktop running as a media machine - it plays DVDs, streams video and music, and functions as a data-backup computer for the other PCs in the house.  Ya, it's six years old but why change???  It works fine!  A newer computer would offer nothing more given these required functions.

I have an old HP desktop from the early 2000's running Debian Linux.  That old fella is used for things like learning C++, ImageMagick and Python and experimenting with the wild side of Linux's low performance world.  It is perfect.

Why is the action of not upgrading a computer more than five years old "...really sad?"  Simple...  The person who make that statement receives a paycheck at least partially based on people upgrading more frequently than every five years, whether they need it or not.

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Da' Truth!!!

So, there I am; innocently driving our ferret back from a veterinarian visit when what in my wondering ears should echo???  The ranting, irritating, disingenuous voice of Sean Hannity on our local AM radio station.

Now, I am neither liberal or conservative; neither republican or democrat.  I am a proud independent.  That stated, never have I listened to the Sean Hannity show when something was said that didn't make me giggle because of...  well...  Here's what I heard on the trip home from the vet...

Sean is ranting about how President Obama and Hillary Clinton were both "friends" with the Reverend Al Sharpton;  how Reverend Sharpton is a rabel-rouser, a firebrand, an agitator.  Those things, I just don't know and honestly don't really care.

Here is what made me LOL...  One of the voice tag lines for the show had something to do with the "Truth";  something like "Only the Truth!" or something like that.  OK...  Still don't care...  but then the LOL hit.  According to Mr. Hannity, the President and Ms. Clinton both "Kiss Al Sharpton's Ring."  Really?  I mean, did they kneel?  Were they all sitting?  Did they bow?  Was it one-on-one or a threesome?

Mr Hannity???  Pictures?  "Only the Truth" but you say they kissed his ring?  Do you have a reference for this?  Can you prove they kissed his ring???

Years ago these type of radio shows irritated me.  Now they simply provide my inner child with comic relief.  Keep talking!!!  I need the laughs!

Thursday, March 3, 2016

OMG! News Flash! SalesForce & TITSUP

HAHA  OH MY GOD!!!  Thanks goes out to Simon Sharwood and The Register for this article about a Salesforce Outage.

I simply MUST quote their update:
"One of's European instances is enduring a lengthy un-planned PITSTOP incident – that's a Partial Inability To Support Totally Optimal Performance, a whit below our other status indicator of a Total Inability To Support Usual Performance or TITSUP."

HAHAHAHAH!!!!!  OH MY!!!!  TITSUP!!!!!  Never have I seen TITSUP and Salesforce on the same page before.  SO apropos, So right.  Thanks for the Thursday morning laugh!!!

**Disclaimer - I am not a fan of Salesforce, its abysmal development environment, its incomplete programming language APEX, its poorly thought out data structures and generally the whole Salesforce concept and system.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

More than 110M People have already upgraded...

WOW!!!  According to the "ad-ware" pop-up message that seems to appear more and more frequently on my computers, more than 110 million people have upgraded to Windows 10...  and for FREE, none the less!!!

Did they do it on purpose?  Or...  did these people really look at what they were getting?

On a slight tangent...  Apparently in recent history an incorrect assumption was made somewhere in my cerebral cortex...  I assumed Windows was NOT "ad-ware".  I thought this was commercial software that was to be free from advertisements.  Oh, sure...  This COULD be construed as simply being a somewhat irritating upgrade message.  More that somewhat irritating at times perhaps.

And why would the tagline "More than 110 M people have already upgraded..." be a motivating factor for myself, a computing professional, to switch operating systems?  I am a critical thinker (most of the time),  and, as I get older, am gaining a slight disdain for rapid change.  Not long ago Windows XP was phased out.  Now...  I am being brow-beaten to upgrade my Windows 7 machines to Windows 10?

Seriously, 110 million people...  Let me see...

  • According to the Society of Thoracic Surgeons, about 1.1 billion people smoke cigarettes.
  • According to the Huffington Post, 70% of all men in the US, and 30% of all Women watch pornography.  That calculates to about 153 million people in the US.
  • According to, there have been 700 million iPhones sold throughout the world.

No...  Number one, I am not going to take up smoking; Number two, porn is boring and I get more action that I can handle from my better half; and Number three, I like my Android phone.

And...  No, I am not upgrading to Windows 10 until I absolutely MUST.  Now...  Buzz Off, Microsoft!

**Microsoft, Windows, iPhone (etc...) are all owned by their respective owners...  I don't want them.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Early Beer Friday

So, it's Friday...  How do you know this day is just right for an early beer?  Answer YES to more than three of these items and you just might want to crack open a cold one.

  1. Your daughter informs you that college shouldn't be so bad this semester...  $600 each month isn't bad, is it???
  2. Your neighbor is building a new back porch.  The contractors wake you at 5:30 AM with their power tools.
  3. You walk into the kitchen to make your coffee but fail to realize the dog spilled their entire food dish, efficiently distributing the entire contents across the kitchen floor.
  4. You wake up to find a hole in the back porch's screen and see all the house cats out roaming around in the back yard.
  5. You give more than ten minutes consideration to the possibility of building your own operating system, language, communications protocol, etc...
  6. You firmly think about changing professions; becoming a roadside mowing & snowplow driving person.
  7. You wonder why this month's family prescriptions cost nothing, then realizing you reached your family's out-of-pocket medical insurance maximum of over $10,000 and it's only July.
  8. You don't want to go outside, even if the weather is good, because putting on shoes and a hat requires too much effort.
  9. You leave your art piece on the easel overnight, only to find it perforated by cat claws the next morning.
  10. You find out that your boss is taking the next two weeks off, but then hear from the VP that she has 'just the perfect little project' for you to work on for the next three weeks.
  11. You had to interact with anyone from sales and/or marketing.
  12. You look in the refrigerator and giggle when you see that can of whipped cream you bought for 'happy-fun-time' with your special someone.  Then, you just hang your head and close the door after realizing you bought it three weeks ago and is still not open.
Ya...  Early beer day for me.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

A Little Nostalgia - And What the Hell Happened to Performance?

Right now I am sitting at a computer with 16GB of RAM, 500GB of SSD main storage and a 300GB 7000 RPM hard drive for data, all being controlled by an Intel Core i3-3240 CPU running Windows 7 Ultimate.  Not a blazing gaming machine but I can comfortably work all day and make a decent living.


As long as no update is processing or it doesn't attempt to digest a bad update or some mysterious internal process isn't sucking up resources like a sump pump in flood season.

Then, using this piece of hardware is not only a large pain in the ass, but sometimes causes days of poking and prodding to back-out an update that went wonky.

First I had the little Timex Sinclair ZX-81.  Great little machine with it's 2.25 MHz Z-80 processor and 32KB Ram.  Yes...  Kilo-Byte.  The OS was burnt onto ROM or EEPROM, so before the TV caught it's video sync, the thing was booted up.

On the down side, there were two computer languages (that I knew about anyway), a crappy version of BASIC and Z-80 assembler (that I never really got to work well).  OK...  This was not a shining piece of computer hardware, nor a fine example of performance...  but it did boot fast!

Then, my third machine...  A Commodore 128 - actually a Commodore C64 and Z-80 driven CP/M machine in one box.  Connect a hard drive and a modem and you could surf the world.  Oh, sure, the web was dominated by ARCHIE and GOPHER and FTP and simple E-Mail, but one could accomplish what one needed; and quickly as well.  I distinctly remember downloading a C compiler for CP/M and writing an IBM-370 assembler on that thing.

Maybe I am getting old, but I would REALLY rather have something that just worked than something glittery and new and expensive that is amazingly fast, so long as the CPU is clicking off NOPs.

Monday, March 30, 2015

Odd-Sounding Academic Paper Title

YA... ya... ya... It's been a while since least posting. Life can be extremely busy out here.

Anyways, here is something that caught my eye this morning. "Can bloogle resonators enhance representation of time, space and culture through the Person-Environment-Occupation Model" The paper's abstract can be found on

Not sure if this is a spoof or not.  Using those irritatingly enjoyable 'bloogle' noisemakers in an academic paper to possibly enhance the representation of "...time, space and culture..." just seems a bit off to this old geek.

Well, unless there's a time travel theory in there somewhere.  Then that would be COOL!

Thursday, December 18, 2014

KIFS - A New Software Development Paradigm

KIFS is a new software development paradigm or philosophy that emphasizes simplicity above all other factors.
KIFS is an acronym for Keep It Freakishly Simple.

KIFS is not enumerable or objective.  It is sensitive to the context with which it is to be applied.  It is similar to the KISS philosophy but more specific. The goal of any software project developed using KIFS is simplicity in all aspects without affecting intended functionality.

KIFS is not exclusionary.  It may be used within the user interface where something large, overbearing and wasteful like an MVC design pattern can be used for other aspects of a particular project.  KIFS is there to help when needed.

Some advantages of KIFS are...

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Crazy's Complexity Corollary

The complexity of a system is directly proportional to just how screwed up it is.